Making Rock Soup

My last semester was the most difficult semester I have ever had, even more so than the two semesters when I was recovering from a horrible case of mono. For starters, I was extremely tired all the time. Not just a little, either. A personality trait that I pride myself on is persistence, but between the pregnancy hormones and the actual process of my body creating a viable atmosphere for the baby to grow, I was so exhausted.

Which is why I decided that I would not audition to be in any other student works than the graduate thesis that I was already cast in. Auditions are mandatory for dance majors. At the audition, instead of participating, I sat on the side to support my fellow students. Now, to preface, I had had a full day of classes and work starting at 9:30 after getting to campus at 8, since my husband and I carpooled, and not ending till 5, at which point I had to wait around on campus and eat the dinner I had packed myself, just to be present for this audition. And I was exhausted, and nauseous. I think I was so tired all semester that most evenings I was on the verge of tears just from fatigue.

While I was sitting watching the audition, another student left the floor and came to sit next to me. "I don't have time for this, either," she said. Inwardly I thought, "Noooooo! That's not why i am sitting out." It would seem my sitting on the side was viewed somehow as a form of protest, which was not intended at all. To make matters worse, the Dean came over to me and admonished me for having an attitude problem.

Well, you can't please everyone. But, taking care of my unborn child is way more important than trying to make sure each person views my personal choices in a positive light. I was pretty angry at the woman for assuming I was having an attitude after I made the effort to be there despite feeling so ill and tired, with 7 more months to go. The nice part of having someone else rely on you so heavily is that you just stop caring what others think when you have to make decisions that don't "come across" the right way.