The beautiful Saturday after a not-so-Eventful Morning

This morning at 3:30 I was awakened by the worst cramps/contractions in my life. Excited, I lay in bed trying to go back to sleep, fully expecting to be wakened a few hours later by "the worst pain of my life." Alas, no. I did manage to wake up Nathan and tell him I was having bad contractions (I should have kept my mouth shut), which I told myself I would not do just in case it wasn't the real thing.

Aannndd...it wasn't. They are gone now, for the most part and I am so frustrated. I know I probably sound like a spoiled brat. My due date has not even arrived. But waiting for this baby to emerge is like having a brand new mac/camera/$5,000 store credit gift card strapped to your back for 9 months and you aren't allowed to look or touch until some vague date. Although having a baby is probably worse than that. Your body gains weight. You crave strange things. Your digestive system goes on the fritz. And, by the last few months, random pains and aches are so common that at the end of the day, you cry from exhaustion over the whole thing. The catch is that this is an exciting experience.

I just want to hold him in my arms. I am excited to breastfeed and o change his diapers.

Oh, the naivety. I know, I know. But, he is my son. I want to meet him so badly. I will in due time.

To keep myself busy, Nathan and I are taking full advantage of this lovely weather and having our friends Grant and Beth over. They have an almost 13 month old, and another little one on the way due in July! We are going to make a BBQ. Here is the menu:

• BBQ chicken (pre-pregnancy I was a vegetarian, but since being pregnant I regularly crave meat. After Bruce is born I will probably revert back to vegetarianism).
• Fruit salad: cantaloupe, strawberries, blueberries, and maybe banana, with whipped topping!
  
• Baked beans. I have never made these before, so it should be an experiment.
• Perhaps a fresh vegetable. Maybe.
• Potato salad--two kinds. Grant and Beth are each making a version, so we will have yummy options.
• Tang, juice, water and milk to drink.

Then, Sunday is Easter Sunday and we will be going to Nathan's parents for Easter dinner after church.

Now I just need to start planning some things for Monday.

My pregnancy ticker to remind Bruce that his due date is fast approaching:

The Month Has Arrived

April marks the birth month of Bruce, the name that Nathan and I decided to name the baby. It is a pretty old-fashioned name and we get curious looks when asked what his name will be. We picked the name because we wanted to memorialize Nathan's brother, who passed away when he was 16. Bruce was a nickname of his that his wrestling teammates called him.

Today was so warm for April! I think it reached 84 degrees, and of course with humidity. That put me in the mood for a good ice cream cone, so my sisters and I went to Seaward's. I got a cone with one scoop of black raspberry and one scoop of chocolate chip cookie dough. This was after my 38 week pre-natal appointment, in which I discovered that I have lost three pounds since my peak of 155, my blood pressure is still amazing, I no longer have sugar in my urine, and the baby is still dropped, head down, and stubbornly refusing to come out! My OB and I discussed my due date. They have been going with the due date of the 14th, which was my original due date, although after a dating ultrasound they changed it to the 12th (I know, only 2 days...), but somehow it got recopied into my chart as the 14th and I just haven't bothered to say anything since it is such a small thing.

To make a long story short, I count the 12th as my due date, but the office is going by the 14th.

Anyways, my last scheduled appointment was for the 9th. Today my OB suggested that I make one for the 16th, just in case I go past my due date. She is going on vacation on the 19th, and said that if testing shows my cervix is ready, that she would allow me to be induced on the 16th before she leaves for vacation so that she can deliver. Otherwise, the plan is to allow the baby to stay in there, but to not go past the 21st, in which case my OB would not be there personally to deliver. I am really, really hoping to go into labor this week. I keep having really strong contractions that take my breath away...but so far, no luck.

Every time I am out with friends and family, I talk about baby things. I am probably driving them crazy. I told myself I would never be one of those obnoxious people who think that everyone else is as interested in every. baby detail as they are. On the other side, I realize that it is not that I think everyone else is as interested as I am, only that the topic consumes me entirely. Giving birth and being a mother will be one of the most exciting things I will or have ever done.

On another note, I need a digital camera so I can "illustrate" my blog. I think I would find that more interesting to read!

And a last thought that I had today: I think it's a little perverse to tell a story or joke to someone that you know will not find it amusing, just because you really want to say what you want to say. I know that I am occasionally guilty of this and, upon reflection, I am ashamed. Talk about being a space cadet.

Oh, things.

Almost two weeks ago, Khristina and I visited the kimono exhibit. We weren't allowed to take pictures of the actual exhibit, so luckily they had three kimonos for on sale in the gift shop that we took pictures of. I am 36 weeks and 4 days pregnant in this picture. I think that I look like Tweedledee or Tweedledum with my two scrawny legs poking out from under my great, round belly.

Today I received in the mail an advertisement from Bath Fitter, telling me to get "The Bathroom That You Deserve." Until today, I didn't know that having a certain type of bathroom was based on merit. Is there something I don't know about? Do I save starving children every time I flush? Is my hairdryer a secret agent, converting my kilowatt usage into renewable energy? Very interesting.

There are three things I would like to do, I have decided. I will not do all three, at least not in the near future. I will start with one and save the rest for my second and third lives.

1) Go to grad school for dance and teach in a university
2) Go to culinary school and be a sexy chef
3) Go to massage therapy school

All three of these things I would love. Dance is a very delicious part of me. It fulfills me and makes me younger. Because of dance, I love the world more and appreciate the weaknesses and strengths of myself as well as others.

I love to cook, and to cook with finesse. Making a delicious meal that is classy and elegant (I like simplicity) is one my talents, I will admit, and I would love to be a chef at a high class restaurant. This may be best-suited for my later life, when I am older and more emboldened. Otherwise the pace of a kitchen may wear me out too quickly.

Massage therapy--I have been told by many people that I have a healing touch, and after working on someone (as a nonprofessional), I feel fulfilled. Plus, I love to learn about the body and I think that by doing massage therapy, I would learn a whole lot on a variety of levels.

Now, for the baby info: I am now 38 weeks along and he dropped 3 weeks ago. The doctor said he may come at any point, and I am well ready for him. I have been having regular contractions for over 24 hours, but so far they are painless, albeit very strong. Also, I think he has dropped once more since my pelvis feels very, very heavy.

Lastly, I will get my pre-baby body back. I know, I know. I understand that my body will not be the "same," but from a holistic perspective, the body makes great changes with each major life experience, not just childbirth. My body will find a new normal, and it will be fit, active and healthy. To all the doubters: just you wait.